If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
