Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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