Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
