i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
