just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
