i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
