I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sorry my hands just texted you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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