I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
