well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
