I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and she was petting her beer can
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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