he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
