Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
