Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
