first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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