im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
