Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
did i just pee glitter
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
