im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
