im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
