I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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