never play flip cup with pint glasses
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
