that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
