bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
