Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
