I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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