i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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