I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
