I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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