I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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