I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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