actually, I'm a sock model
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
