I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
