Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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