she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
