Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
