you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
