I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
