I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
