I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
