there was a trapeze. enough said
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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