Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This is the high leading the old right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
