So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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