oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize