Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
