Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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