Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
