I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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