in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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