I'm so fucking centered right now
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
