I wish I only lived at night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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