I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
