You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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