I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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