Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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