That's intense
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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