Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
