You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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