Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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