I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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