he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
