I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
